The Ketubah is One of the Important Jewish Gifts
Jews have their own special holidays and occasions where it would be appropriate to give Jewish gifts, one of which is the ketubah. Judaism is a culture rich in signs, symbols and history which serve as a basis for attractive and meaningful gifts. Jewish gifts to make your Jewish friends happy should, ideally, have Jewish themes. Here are some suggestions for Jewish gifts on different occasions.
When giving Jewish gifts, it is important to remember Jewish law and the accompanying prohibitions. Pork and shellfish are off-limits to Orthodox Jews. When thinking of giving food as a gift, it is important that they comply with the laws for kosher foods and display the corresponding labels. Even wines used for social drinking should be kosher if you intend to give them as a gift. Other types of alcohol, however, are exempt so you can safely give a bottle of fine liquor as a gift.
Aside from the gift itself, there are other regulations that you should be aware of in giving Jewish gifts. For instance, carrying in public is not allowed on Shabbat. If you’re bringing a gift to a friend you invited you for a meal, bring it before nightfall and come back later for the meal.
A special occasion for the giving of Jewish gifts is a child’s bar/bat mitzvah. If you’re giving money, make it in multiples of 18, the number that symbolizes life in Jewish culture. Because the child has just become an adult on this occasion, a personal gift such as jewelry like a silver or crystal necklace with the Star of David, personalized stationery or items which are a part of Jewish life like a menorah or a Seder plate will also be appreciated.
For a wedding, there are many Jewish gifts with practical application. A ketubah or a square wedding band are ready choices. Wedding glasses to break and crush as part of the ceremony will come in handy as will a Tallit for the groom.
The home is probably the easiest to find Jewish gifts for. You can give a menorah, mezuzah or Seder plate. A challah cover, candlesticks, wall hangings like a hamsa plaque, or honey dishes to celebrate Rosh Hashanah are also good ideas for Jewish gifts. Classic Jewish books, Jewish toys and games and Jewish cookbooks are other great choices. The ketubah will always find a special place in a Jewish home.
With a little imagination and a careful eye to religious considerations, there’s no shortage of Jewish gifts for you to choose from.
Jewish Wedding Ceremony Rituals and the Ketubah
Although it has technically two parts – kiddushin and nisuin – both are usually celebrated in one Jewish wedding ceremony. A ketubah, or marriage contract, is signed before two witnesses at the start of a Jewish wedding ceremony. This document describes the husband’s duties towards the wife for protection, support and marital relations. It also provides for wife support in the event of a divorce. The ketubah is often a fancy, lighted well decorated document displayed in the home.
The Jewish wedding ceremony is performed under a canopy called a chuppah. This structure symbolizes the couple’s new home after they are married. Before the ceremony itself, the bride’s face is covered with a veil and a prayer is said for her. Both fathers then lead the groom to the chuppah while both mothers lead the bride.
When she gets to the chuppah, the bride dances around the groom three or seven times, a practice probably inspired by the words in Jeremiah 31:22 “A woman shall surround a man”. Three times may stand for the virtues of marriage: righteousness, justice and loving kindness in Hosea 2:21. Seven may come from the biblical connotation of perfection.
The kiddushin part of the Jewish wedding ceremony follows with the recitation of a blessing over wine and a betrothal blessing. The couple taste the wine and the groom gives the bride a ring, an act which must be seen by two witnesses.
Seven blessings are then recited by a rabbi or selected guests. After the blessings, the bride and groom are given the cup of wine from which they drink. Sometimes, the groom’s new father-in-law will hold the cup to the groom’s lips and the bride’s new mother-in-law to hers. After the ceremony, the groom breaks a glass and crushes it with his right foot while the guests yell out their “good luck” wishes.
After a Jewish wedding ceremony, the bride and groom are left to go to a private room and stay alone together for 10 – 20 minutes. One reason given for this practice is the contention of some authorities that only seclusion completes the ceremony.
What follows is a special part of a Jewish wedding ceremony where the guests dance before the bride and groom. There are a number of traditional dances, some of which are performed only on specific wedding occasions. The bride and the groom close this part of the celebration by dancing with each other.
After the meal, grace is recited. Then, two glasses of wine are poured into a third glass. With this symbolic gesture of a new life together for the bride and groom, the Jewish wedding ceremony is officially ended.
The Ketubah is Part of Jewish Wedding Practices
In a Jewish wedding Jewish laws and traditions are followed and the ketubah is an important part of that tradition. There are many sayings in Jewish tradition that influence the practices in a Jewish wedding. According to the Talmud, man and woman were originally created as one being, as Siamese twins. God then separated them forming Eve from Adam’s side indicating that togetherness is their natural state. Another belief is that 40 days before a male child is conceived, whose daughter he will marry is proclaimed by a voice from heaven. This predetermined soul mate is called a “bashert”, which means fate or destiny. Thus, on their wedding day, the bride and groom are thought to merge into one complete soul.
The Talmud specifies that a man may acquire a wife through money, a contract or sexual relations. A woman can only be acquired with her consent. While a man generally complies with all three, only one is legally required to make the marriage binding. The acquisition of a wife by money is considered a symbolic requirement and is satisfied by the man giving the woman a wedding ring. In a Jewish wedding, the ring must belong to the groom and cannot be an item borrowed from someone else. The man must declare the value of the ring to the woman and give it to her irrevocably.
The requirement of a contract is satisfied by the ketubah which a man gives to the woman. This is a marriage contract which specifies the man’s obligations during the Jewish marriage, the provisions for inheritance in the event of his death and the support of the children from the marriage. The ketubah also provides for wife support in the event that the man divorces her and is an integral part of a Jewish wedding ceremony.
The marriage process itself consists of two parts known as kiddushin and nisuin. More than just an engagement period, kiddushin is roughly translated as “betrothal”. At this stage of the process, the woman is legally the man’s wife even though they do not live together. Once betrothed, the relationship can be broken only by death or divorce. Their marital obligations to each other, however, are not exercised until the second stage of the Jewish wedding process is completed.
In the second and final process of a Jewish wedding – the nisuin – the man and woman live together and begin their life as man and wife. In olden days, there could almost be a whole year between kiddushin and nisuin. This would give the man time to prepare a home for his new family. These days however, both are performed as part of one and the same Jewish wedding ceremony.
